Sunday, May 10, 2009

Fundraiser

Joe has successfully finished his second cylcle of chemo. As the oncologist said last Monday, "the end is in sight." Due to his neulasta shot, Joe was able to go home for the whole week. Of course it rained most of the week, but what can you do. This weekend Jake and Snowden, put on two amazing fundraiser events. Saturday started early for the boys with a golf tournament in honor of Joe. Unfortunately, they had to play in the elements but still had a great time. Joe tagged along in a golf cart enjoying the company of is friends. After a morning of golf, a fundraiser was held at the Portuguese American Club on the Vineyard. Joe has always bragged about the island community and I ignored him like usual. However, this weekend I realized exactly what he was talking about. Over 400 hundred people attended and thousands of dollars were raised for Joe. It was quite overwhelming. I walked around with my cousin Lucia (who came all the way from NYC) totally amazed at the support, and love that was being shown by all those who attended. It was a true island event that friends, family and the community made possible. The best story of the day occurred at the drawing of the 50/50 raffle. Melissa (Joe's sister) did an amazing job running the silent auction, and 50/50 raffle along with many other helpers! As I said the island community is extremely close. Last year, Wendy an island nativedied of brain cancer; her son Wyatt won the 50/50 raffle. I had held it together the whole night, until this point. I walked outside to call Joe and let him know what happened (he loves Wyatt and Patrick his father), and saw Danny talking to Wyatt outside. As I walked closer I realized both of them were extremely emotional and I could not keep it together. It was an extremely special moment. There was a reason Wyatt won the raffle. I think if Joe could have personally picked the person who won, Wyatt would have been who he chose. Joe did not attend the fundraiser. As I stated before, I was extremely overwhelmed and I knew maybe 30 people there, he would have been bombarded. With that being said, Joe was very adament about seeing his friends following the event. The fun moved to back to my house where Joe was hanging out. I asked him what was the best part of the weekend and he being able to see his friends. Acting "normal" is crucial to getting through this whole cancer thing .It was a perfect night and we started a fire in the new fire pit and just hung out. Of course, things got a little crazy. Everyone had been drinking all day so things escalated.Somehow Willie and Matthew (my brother) decided they were going to shave their heads in honor of Joe. Again, they were both several beers deep and have long flowing hair might I add, shaved it alllllll off. It was a funny, sad all wrapped up in one.

I just want to thank everyone who came and donated your support is truly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who worked, Sue, Melissa, Lois, Tasha, Alex, Thayer, MV Hockey Boys, Ben, and everyone else I am not mentioning, without you the event would not have been able to happen so successfully. A special thank you to Jake and Snowden who put everything together. You guys are truley amazing, much love to you both.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Start of Cycle 2

Cancer has taught me one very important lesson. Take one day at a time. Joe came home Thursday afternoon after a week in the hospital. By that time Joe's hair had started to fall out. He liked pulling it out (not cool). On Saturday night, while watching the Bruins crush the Canadians, Joe took off his LIVESTRONG hat to scratch is head. WOW... had his hair fallen out. It was so splotchy, I had to run to get my camera so he could see it. All I could do was laugh... what else is there to do right. A couple of hours later, Steve the barber came over to finally shave it all off. It was really difficult for me to watch him go through that. I do not know if it is a sensitive subject for me because of my mom, but it made my stomach drop. I held back the tears for the time being but eventually broke down.

On Sunday, Bill put together a BBQ at my house and all of Joe's friends came. It was amazing to see him function like he had not been in the hospital all week. It was another time when Joe could forget he was sick and be a normal person. He even drank some beer! Thank you to everyone who showed up. It was great seeing all of you. You don't know how much it meant to take a break from cancer for a little bit. Of course everyone I invited came hungover and could barely function! Hahah TYPICAL!

Monday was the official start of cycle two. It was also marathon Monday, and it sure felt like a marathon . Joe and I arrived at Dana Farber at 8:30 and did not leave until 5. Monday was packed with appointments. First, he had to get blood drawn. Second, he had to perform the Pulmonary Function Test (located in the Lance Armstrong Survival Clinic) to see how the Bleomycin was affecting his lungs. After the PFT, Dave, Jeanne, and Danny met us for the oncology appointment. Joe's blood counts were back to normal. However, because his counts dipped so low he would be receiving a neulasta shot, which would boost his blood counts for this next cycle. Hopefully, this shot keeps Joe out of the hospital! The oncologist also told us that the Bleomycin had started to affect Joe's lungs but not enough to stop giving him the drug. However, they would be watching that more carefully. After, meeting with the oncologists, we headed down to the infusion center for Joe's chemo. His nurse Suzanne was not surprised that Joe got omitted on Monday. She had warned him that he would make at least one trip to the hospital. Suz is always right!

This week has flown by already. Joe's infusions have been early in the morning so he has been done by 1 everyday. It makes the day go by much quicker. I can't believe tomorrow is Friday and the first week of cycle 2 is completed.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Chemo Day 7 - FUCK CANCER

FUCK CANCER. I saw that slogan today on the back of a woman's winter hat. At the time I giggled, now I have to completely agree. I repeat. FUCK CANCER.

I met Joe and his mom at the hospital at 11:15. Joe had went home for the weekend to spend Easter with his family. However, after doing well all week, he spiked a temperature late on Saturday night and started to develop a sore on the back of his throat. He monitored both over the next day and hung out on the couch at his house. I had not seen him all weekend but when I walked into the waiting room this morning my heart dropped. Up until this point you could not really tell he was a cancer patient. Today, I could tell. He was aggravated, his throat hurt him and he was starting to get the chills. So far we have been lucky with the wait time at Dana Farber. Of course today we had to wait. Had to wait to get blood taken, had to wait for the oncologist, had to wait to get his schedule for the next cycle of chemo, and had to wait to get a chair in the infusion center. Joe was not in the mood to wait today. We found out in the oncology meeting that Joe blood counts have dropped to an extremely low level. The medical term is neutropenia. After the oncology appointment we went down to the infusion center. Everyone was worried about his low blood count levels so the chemo was done quickly. We left the hospital and drove to my house. I was frusterated because I felt like Joe was not being honest with his doctors. Several times he said his throat hurt, and that he had chills to Jeanne and I. Yet, in the oncology meeting he stated that he felt fine ( I knew he wasn't fine!). Well little did he know that he was going to find out the hard way that he was not fine. We got home around 3 and Joe gargled salt water and took another medicine for his mouth sores. He went downstairs to take a nap. I went downstairs to make sure he was ok and found him shivering. I took his temperature 101.3. Panic. The doctors had told us the marker was 100.5, clearly past that. I ran upstairs and called the oncologist and he told us to come right back into Brigham and Women's. This is what they had warned us about. The worst case scenario was coming true. We got to the hospital in 12 minutes (thanks to crazy Edie). Did I mention we waited today? I had to wait in a fucking emergency room reception line! Luckily a nice woman let me cut her and I was able to register Joe quickly (the oncologist had called ahead). Joe got taken back with a mask on (that put me over the edge) to scene I would like to call "grey's anatomy". He was put into a glass room and Jeanne (who was on her way back to the Vineyard) and I had to put on masks to sit in the room with him. After receiving antibiotic IV Joe got omitted and transported to a private room for the night.

Things I have learned from today:
1. FUCK CANCER
2. Do not make any plans, things can change in a second.

I feel awful that Joe is alone at Brigham's but he asked Jeanne and I to leave. Back to the hospital tomorrow... and this was suppose to be an easy week.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Day 6 of Chemo


Today we arrived at the hospital for Joe's appointments with his oncologist. Jeanne (Joe's mom) and Jake Ferriera were at the hospital when we arrived. The oncologist gave us good and bad news. The good news is that no cancer was found in the brain and his blood levels were completely normal. The bad news, Joe can't go home until he gets clearance from the oncologist. This week he has a high rish of spiking fevers and catching infections. They call it the danger week. Due to all the chemo that he had over the past week his blood levels will eventually go down and he could possibly spike a high fever. With that being said he is doing amazing and they are hoping that this won't happen. However, because the oncologist has not spoken to the Vineyard hospital about what procedures they have in place, they are not comfortable with him going home yet. I feel bad because I think he was looking forward to going home and spending time with his family. He has expressed over this past week that he is frusterated cause he feels fine. He also just hates the unknowns. After the oncologist appointment we headed down to the infusion center for his chemo. Unlike, the previous week today was only a half hour (compared to the 5 hours last week). He just had to get one drug, drug B I call it. Kara, stopped by quickly again and caught up. It is nice to have visitors just makes the time go by quicker. After treatment, we headed off to lunch. We both ate too much and came home and crashed. We are done until next Monday! However, Joe kind of crashed tonight. He feels achy and felt that a fever was coming on. The oncologist told us to not be surprised if he spiked a fever but I think he is just scared of the unknown. I hate not knowing what he is feeling. He can be soooo stubborn. However, he is getting better with telling me what is going on in that big head of his. I will update you next week or if anything happens in the meantime. 

Friday, April 3, 2009

Chemo- Day 4 and 5

We have the routine down. I do not know if that is a good or bad thing. Thursday was pretty uneventful. Joe went in and did his thing and we left. His Aunt Nancy stopped by and brought some old pictures, which was nice. Thursdays are busy days at Dana Farber, but luckily Joe got right in there and we got to leave pretty early. I went to the Bruins game last night with a bunch of the girls from Colby. It was amazing to get away from everything for a little bit. It was nice to see everyone and let loose (drank a little too much!). It was also awesome seeing Joe, Marino, Chreny and Benny, who also had tickets to the game. We went to the Harp after for a drink (at least I only had one drink) and then I ran off to try to catch the last commuter rail home. Of course I missed the train but hopped on the green line and made it home safely.

Today, I went to the gym before heading into the hospital. It was nice to work out and release some of the stress that has been building over the past week. The Chemo is starting to wear on Joe. Today he shaved his head. I think it was a way for him to take control; he will decide when his hair is gone, not the chemo. He has definitely been more fatigued and feeling a little sick in the morning. To be honest, I don't know exactly how he is feeling. He doens't really like talking about it. But from now on I am going to assume that he is tired and doesn't feel great. I keep asking him how he is feeling. I think it is starting to annoy him so I am going to stop. Steve drove him to the hospital. I met them there after the gym. Willie, Eric (Willie's brother) and Steve were all there when I arrived. It was so nice to have his boys there for him to laugh with. Welchie arrived soon after with a big stuffed animal english bulldog for Joe (it is hilarious). Every one of the nurses and volunteers loved it. The boys shot the shit and talked about the upcoming hockey weekend. It killed me knowing how much Joe wanted to be there. He said, "there is always next year," but I know he wants to be there shooting off roman candles and being with the guys. He is planning on going down for the game tomorrow with Ruley after his MRI. After the guys left, I got Joe lunch and he just rested. Again, I think it was awesome that he saw the guys but sucked knowing they were going off to have fun and play hockey and he had to be hooked up to his buddy, getting chemo. He would never say that but I could see it on his face. Bill showed up just in time! He walked out with Joe and I. Everyone brought him little gifts, which he is so appreciative of. I told my mom the nurses must love Joe and all of his cute friends coming in. You should have seen the group of guys the Nurses loveeeeeed it. Week one done. Only 16 more days of chemo to go!!!!! Thank you everyone who has sent texts, emails, and facebook messages. We really appreciate it and I will do my best to respond. Enjoy the weekend! I know I am going to!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Chemo - Day 3

Today was hump day. I broke down today because I couldn't find a parking ticket... literally melted down. I felt so stupid afterwards. Joe of course comforted me and then I got mad at myself for being so weak. Like I should be the one breaking down...for a missing parking ticket. Anywho the morning started off a little rough for me. I was scrambling to get things together (forgetting half of things I needed OF COURSE). We got to the hospital safely (three minutes late because of my stupid meltdown) but we got there. Today we sat in a different section of the infusion center than the past two days. Personally, I did not like the spot as much. The seat we had the last two days was right next to window, which was nice for Joe. Today, we did not have a window seat, however, halfway through Joe's treatment we had the whole section to ourselves. Joe was a little tired today. He actually acted human and slept a little bit. I was tired too and because we had our own room I sat in a chair the hospital uses to take blood and vitals. It reclines so I got comfortable. Today, overall was pretty uneventual. Went in, Joe did his thing, and we left. When Joe and I got back to Needham we took a nice walk. It was nice for both of us to get outside and walk around. Back at it tomorrow @ 11

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Chemo - Day Two

Today started at 1. Compared to the marathon yesterday, today seemed like a breeze. Joe is being so positive it is amazing. You can see his attitude affect those around him. Everyone, in the room gravitates to him and wants to talk to him. It is really incredible. Today we had two older women in the room with us. One with lung cancer, the other with breast/ and ovarian cancer (a battle she has been fighting for over a year), talked to Joe and shared their experience and told him that was incredibly good looking and he will be fine . I really want to bring a video camera in there to tape all the amazing people that walk through Dana Farber floor ten.

Today, Joe had his first visitor, Kara Walsh, which was great to have someone come chat (thank you for stopping by!). Also, around 4 we got a little surprise. People are always stopping by. This afternoon when we first arrived Joe met with a dietitian. She praised him on his eating habits (just what he needs someone to tell him he is amazing!!!) and talked to him about his diet throughout this process. Around 4, a volunteer stopped by and introduced herself to Joe and asked him if he wanted four tickets to the Bruin's game tonight. Ok we were happy with tickets but these were first row premium tickets (value of 170$). I turned to him after getting the tickets with my hands up in the air going Yay Cancer! It was as if the man above planned it. Joe finished his chemo aroun 6 15. Ruley met us at the hospital and we hopped into the car and made it to them game on time. It was an amazing treat that someone gave to Joe to help him have fun through this process. The person who donated those tickets is an amazing individual. It made things seem normal. We were at the Bruins game tonight watching Lucic fight, and Chara score, and not focusing on having to be at the hospital the next morning. It again made me realize that a little gesture goes a long way. Donating tickets, giving time, giving blood, are things that make a big difference. This whole process (and it has only been two days), has made me realize that while there is a lot of bad in this world, there are also a lot of wonderful people and I want to become a better person who gives back and makes a difference.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Chemo- Day 1

I arrived this morning at 10:20 to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. Today starts the first day of Joe's treatment. I am happy that the process is finally starting, but extremely anxious about how the treatment will affect him. The day started out with a meeting with his oncologists. We finally found out the stage of his cancer. He has stage 3A. From what I gather, that means his cancer has spread to lymph nodes in his abdomen and lungs (which is good according to the doctor). The lymph nodes are very small (another good thing) and the doctor's are confident that the chemo will squash it. From the meeting with the oncologist we went down to the Lance Armstrong center, so Joe could have his pulmonary lung test. He did very well (according to him because he is a elite athlete) and we went upstairs to floor ten to start his chemo. We did not leave Dana Farber until 8, we were the last ones to leave I think hahah.

The chemo took a total of about 4 hours. The actual chemo drugs took about an hour.. a lot of other "shit" went into to him to make him not sick. I need to start taking notes of the amazing people you see in this place. It is so inspiring to see how strong people are. It makes me want to volunteer, just be a better person. The oncology nurses are saints, true angels. They have such positive attitudes and make the whole process so much easier. Again, a place with so much sickness, also holds so much hope, and inspiration to keep on fighting for a better tomorrow.

Today, Joe started his blog. He worked on it all day. I am really happy that he has an outlet to share his story. On the site he has a calender of all of his treatments. I will be there all of this week and as much as I can, however I do still need to get a job! It would be amazing if you guys posted on his website and sent funny shit to him. I will also be taking pictures to record this whole experience and be posting them either on his website or this blog. Please stop by or post it really helps. He will be at my house all this week and everyone is welcome to stop by.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dana Farber - Day One

Finally some answers and a plan. For two months there have been unknowns about what Joe exactly has. Today we started finally moving forward. For those who do not know, my boyfriend of over two years, Joe Merry, was diagnosed with testicular cancer in the beginning of March. About two months ago, Joe went to his doctor with a lump on his right testicle that he had been watching for the past year and half. His doctor instructed him to get an ultrasound and set up an appointment with an urologist. The urologist found a mass, at this point they felt it was non-cancerous but advised Joe to have his whole right testicle removed. After receiving a second opinion, Joe went ahead to schedule a surgery for removal of his right testicle on February 23, 2009. Overall, the surgery was an outpatient procedure (went in and out of the hospital on the same day) and went very well. The mass was sent out for pathology to determine if it was cancerous or not. At this point, the doctor's  had characterized the growth as a "mass" and felt it was not cancerous. However, two weeks later the pathology showed that cancer was found in Joe's testicle.   I found out right before an interview and felt like I had been punched in the stomach. At this point, personally I was frustrated, but hopeful that possibly they had removed all the cancer. Joe of course was very optimistic and upbeat and made a cat scan appointment to see if the cancer had spread, but was confident that they had got all the cancer removed. Fortunately, there was no wait for cat scan results. Unfortunately, the next day we found out the cancer had spread, to two lymph nodes and possibly his lungs. I cried, scared and upset that Joe (who HATES being sick) had to go through this. 

Today, we met with an oncologist at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in the Genitourinary Cancer Treatment Center.  Although, Joe forgot the CD with his CT Scans on them, we got an idea of the battle ahead. As of today, the plan is to have three, 3 week cycles of BEP (chemotherapy). The start date is March 30th. Tomorrow we find out how much the cancer has spread and the actual stage of his cancer. Joe is ready to start his battle, I just hope there is no more bad news.